Ideas and resources to enhance your life.
I am often asked by clients what it is they should do with feelings they have, especially the 'bad' feelings. Clients usually refer to anger, sorrow, guilt, and fear as 'bad' feelings. My challenge is always to look at feelings in a more neutral manner. Try to stand back from your feelings, look at them from a distance, and accept them. Sounds strange, I know, but feelings can't hurt you. And, fighting them is just going to make things messy. A lot of unhealthy behaviour stems from individuals not being able to accept how they feel. The unhealthy behaviour is usually used to do one of the following:
a. cover/stop a feeling considered 'bad' (e.g. drinking to deal with being bored)
b. getting a 'good' feeling, (e.g. using substances to feel relaxed)
Here's a novel idea... why not just feel what you feel and see what happens? Feelings come and go, they don't stick around if you roll with it. Resisting your feelings will cause them to persist. That which you resist, persists.
This can be hard to believe so go ahead and try it with feelings you think aren't too bad or too intense. You may be surprised at how freeing this can be.
Additionally, accepting feelings provides space to analyze the accuracy of the thoughts behind the situation. But, that's a topic for another day.