Existential Angst: Part 5- You are alone

Another given of life is that you are alone.  No matter how connected or related you may be, you are ultimately alone.  No one has your experiences, no one know what it is like to be you, no one lived your life.  So, no matter what, you are alone.  This becomes most apparent in the face of death.  You must die alone.  No one can be with you.  It can also become evident in adolescence.  Adolescence is often the first time one experiences being surrounded by many and yet feeling alone. 

That is not to say that you always feel alone or that relationships are a waste of time.  Dr. Yalom quoted a patient of his who said “Even though you’re alone in your boat, it’s always comforting to see the lights of the other boats bobbing nearby.”

There is no solution.  Relationships do not solve this existential problem, and those who think it does, will be sadly disappointed. Relationships and connecting are still very important and necessary for most of us.  That is true.  But it does not take away the fact that we are alone.  It is not the same as being lonely.  It is possible to be alone and not lonely.  Most of the time that is probably the case.  For those struggling with this reality it may be better to embrace this fact.  Alone is not bad.  It just is.  If you find yourself chasing every kind of distraction and preoccupation I would suggest taking intentional steps towards quiet meditation and moving towards acceptance.