Existential Angst- Part 2: Death

In part 1 I highlighted the 5 givens of life- Death, Freedom, Responsibility, Isolation, and Meaninglessness.  Some of these are more obvious than others, but I will run through each one and flesh it out.  Sometimes our anxiety is based on one of these 5, but we can't see it clearly.   Part 2 is intended to help recognize and come face to face with the truth.  Although this may seem counter-intuitive or more anxiety inducing, it is the way forward.  As Joseph Campbell said, "Within the cave we fear to tread, lies the treasure that we seek."  So, into the cave we go...

Death/Mortality- the most obvious given of life is death (or death and taxes as some older folks like to say.)  Our anxiety about death usually starts in early childhood when we come to the realization that Mommy can get sick, or auntie was in the hospital, or grandma died.  At some point, usually not to far into life we realize that life has a termination point.  The fog of adolescence usually gives us a break, when we think we are invincible, but then early adulthood sobers us up and again we may struggle with our inevitable demise.

The  fact of death may result in various anxieties.  First is death itself.  Then there is our health. WebMD anyone? And then there is the passing of time and the fears associated with that.  For example, fear of missing out, fear that we have already missed out, the guilt and shame for not having done enough up to this point, the time crunch to meet our goals, etc.  

How to face this then?  A few ideas. 
1. Death gives life meaning.  In a way it is not only good, it is necessary.  If you never died then things wouldn't matter.  You could fail forever because you never die.  It means you don't have to try. At least not now, because there is always later.  What if  there is no later.  Facing this time/death fear can help define your values and give you direction.  You may have heard of the '6 months to live' exercise or the 'write your own obituary" exercise.  If you only had 6 months to live, what would you do, who would you visit, what would you say, where would your money and your time go, etc.  Think about it.  Your response will help you identify what is most important.  Write down what you value most. Are you doing that now?  How can you do more of that.
2.  Practice mindfulness.  If you live in the moment then the future isn't a problem.  It seems much more practical to live in the here and now than to obsess or worry about the future.  In fact, once you realize how useless worrying is, it becomes easier to let that worry go and return to the present. Your entire life is lived in the present.
3. Talk about it.  One way to face our fears and the truth, is to talk about it.  Have conversations. Be vulnerable and share with those who love what it is you are struggling with.  There is immense healing in relating.  We live in an insanely isolated and lonely time (especially in the western world).  
4. Accept it.  Somehow.  One way to start is to say to yourself (or aloud) "I accept that I will die."  Or if that is too much, "I am willing to accept that one day I will die."  Or if it is still too much "I am willing to consider accepting that I will die." And then commit to what really matters in life.

LINKS
https://medium.com/swlh/only-six-months-left-to-live-37c7fea071f0 One example of the 6 months to live exercise.