ADHD in Marriage and Relationships

I often work with couples in which one partner has ADHD or is likely to have it. A common challenge they face is not fully understanding how differently their minds work. Each partner tends to assume the other thinks and processes the world the same way, which can quickly lead to frustration as small issues escalate into major conflicts. Once the honeymoon phase fades and the realities of daily life set in, routine responsibilities often become a source of stress, since each person approaches them differently. Without insight into what’s actually happening for their partner, it’s easy for misunderstandings to arise, leaving each to view the other as lazy, disorganized, disinterested, or worse.  

One way that couples counselling can help these couples out, especially when the counsellor understands ADHD, is in teaching them how their partner operates, that their partner isn't being mean or intentionally frustrating, and ways to work with each other towards common goals.

It is hard for some people to consider or accept the idea that they have ADHD. It isn't necessary to accept the label or to take it on, though.  Yet, it might give a starting point for couples to address underlying reasons for their disconnection.  There is a way to get reconnected and back on the same page!  It might just look different than what you envisioned.